There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
