Will you blow on my dice?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
