But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
