you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
