im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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