her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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