It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
