You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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