put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize