So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize