I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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