So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
