We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
