I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
