I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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