new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize