I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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