A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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