so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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