watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
