She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
