you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
