this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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