You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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