why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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