There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
