i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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