we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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