Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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