Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
