I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
