Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
