i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
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i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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