so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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