yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize