She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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