see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
