Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
