its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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