your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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