i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
