I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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