It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
