is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
