he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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