I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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