So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just had sex on a roof
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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