Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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