yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
