she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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