so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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