May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ketchup is God's man juice
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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