Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
