Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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