so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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