is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize