he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
