He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
