i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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