But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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