this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
